Part 08 – Greed is Good

The door swung shut behind me, a gust of wind blowing past now that I had entered the Escrow Office. I smiled, and set my mind to work. I was going to make money with all my skill and charisma as a suave salesman.

My hand slipped down to my pocket, and I tossed the set of 9-volt batteries I had earned just the day before, in the mission before that terrible near-fatal shooting. With a swift motion, I had procured the complimentary cardboard boxes and placed my battery pack within, sealing it closed and sitting down. Now this was the hardest part of my scheme.

I would write a very persuasive advertisement, and hopefully use the charm of the written word to suave someone into buying these batteries at a 20 percent markup! With that profit, I would trade batteries and other goods. Within a few weeks, I may have even enough to drive home a new ’07 Condor, or perhaps one of those odd (and rather aggressively named) foreign vehicles, like the import-model Executioner. I began writing immediately.

My Note:

---

Contents: 8x 9volt Batteries, excellent quality. Please enjoy them for whatever appliances you have that require power, satisfaction guaranteed. The 20 percent markup over market value reflects the superb quality of these, so pick up yours today.

---

Tossing aside idle daydreams, I finished writing my honest and surely alluring notecard and wrapped up the package, handing it to a bored clerk. Things looked good. After all, who could resist my card and suave words?

I waited for some while.

Sighing, I grew impatient. Who would be able to resist my fair offer which benefited both parties equally? I frowned, wondering if I should sell another item to make this go faster. I had after all, my starting funds and a bit of change from running jobs… what’s the worst that could happen as I checked up Escrow?

I brought up a rather extensive list of possible orders, though my mind blanked out after reading the first batch.

View Escrow:

---

Location:...Creator:..........................Price:.............Description:
4 Jita Ave..Hans Brix.....................$2450..............Used Quafe Machine, slightly bloody
4 Jita Ave..Vladimir Ilych..............$0.....................Proletariat Revolution, plz buy
4 Jita Ave..Ruke Skywalk...............$90000...........3nlarge y0ur sh1p!!!1!!1two!
4 Jita Ave..Alucard.........................$1250000.......1x ‘Me’ Medium Nosferatu
4 Jita Ave..Some Alt.......................$55600...........MWD WMD NBSI BPO ME20 G2G…
4 Jita Ave..Some Alt.......................$55600...........MWD WMD NBSI BPO ME20 G2G…
4 Jita Ave..Some Alt.......................$55600...........MWD WMD NBSI BPO ME20 G2G…
4 Jita Ave..Some Alt.......................$55600...........MWD WMD NBSI BPO ME20 G2G…
6 Jita Ave..xTRUSTWORTHYx......$5025..............(LEGIT!!) NEW '07 Vegabond! Great Deal! Guarenteed! TRUST ME!
6 Jita Ave..Cybok...........................$900000000...‘Avatar’, slightly used
6 Jita Ave..Seliine..........................$1......................Veldspar.
6 Jita Ave..Anonymous Baddream.$250000000...My frozen corpse

---

There were many attractive deals on the market, even though I could not understand to save my life what half of them were actually selling. With but $5025 with me, I ruled out many of these deals, including the weird vampire auction, some kind of vehicle enhancement, and somebody’s creepily self-priced corpse.

I thought over one of the deals. A new 2007 model Vegabond, one of the fastest midrange vehicles money could buy. With such means at my disposal, I could track down the subject of my vendetta and destroy him! Plus, the seller seemed quite reliable, with a name like xTRUSTWORTHYx. The order was made immediately. I could barely hold back glee as I then ripped open the small packaging, waiting for the pair of keys that would bring me satisfaction.

I looked inside, eyes gleaming like a child on Christmas waiting to get a long-awaited toy...